


Dappled (TTHBC)

by blindtaleteller



Series: Lokiverse Extras [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Lokiverse (Mixology), Lokiverse - Freeform, M/M, Sleepy Kisses, Story Driven, Top Loki (Marvel), Trust Issues, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindtaleteller/pseuds/blindtaleteller
Summary: Confused after Hydra's exposure and surviving the helicarrier crash, Bucky Barnes finds himself company familiar enough to both sides of his mind to keep him wary of his new 'friend'. Having been the resulting price of failure where Hydra is concerned; his options boil down to staying with Loki: or going it on his own...
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki/Steve Rogers, Loki/Steve Rogers
Series: Lokiverse Extras [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111355
Kudos: 3
Collections: Loki, Prompted Writing





	Dappled (TTHBC)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bounce (Secret)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28140204) by [blindtaleteller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindtaleteller/pseuds/blindtaleteller). 



> TTHBC Prompted short from Door/Universe 6.
> 
> This one takes off from that same universe 'Bounce (Secret)' takes place in, and around the same time and a little after 'Fourwords (Loyalty)' from the same part of their conjoined multiverses. D6 has one of the few Rogers doppelgangers that actually shows up in the Vestibule alongside their Loki. Though this Barnes doesn't join them there unlike GROUNDED's Wolfkin and Cub; he does still greatly influence their Trickster, and the rest of the Coven in his own subtler ways.
> 
> In this particular Universe, while there's some history neither Steve or Buck are fully aware of I planted back into their 1940s history; the real changes to this timeline start when distraction intended to take the Tesseract happened with a very different result; allowing Loki to notice the Mind Stone (the Scepter) being snagged by Hydra agents early on. If you want to know a little more of how they got here, I suggest reading Bounce and Fourwords, the first of which should be linked as the 'inspired by' short fic among the Platovember prompts where those first glimpses into their Universe can be found.  
> If you wanted to read all three shorts from Universe/Door 6 -currently- posted in chronological order; I suggest reading Bounce first, then Fourwords, and then this entry.
> 
> Mostly because this one actually covers the gap just a few hours prior to Fourwords, from Bucky's perspective in the first part: and what's going on at the other side of that safe house door under the mall on Fourth while Steve, Natasha and Sam are waiting in the car for Fury and his team to cut their way back into it in the second part; and finally cuts to the after of that scene..

  * IDENTIFY LOCATION: BUCKY BARNES (UNDESIGNATED) - DIMENSIONAL IDENTIFICATION CONFIRMED : HVRA0616-9H-06
  * \---INTER-UNIVERSAL DOORWAY ENTRY POINT H6 : OBSERVATIONAL STATUS - TVA INTERFERENCE : _NONE DETECTED_
  * \---- MIDGARD: NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT: VISITATION CAUTIONS _HEAVILY_ _ADVISED :_ WASHINGTON D.C.
  * \------KNOWN DOMESTIC TIME VARIANCE : 12:13 PM US EST : 2014



## -=\\\DAPPLED//=-

_He'll kill me here._

That was the thought when that strong hand pulled at him, dragging him, the rest of the way out of the river. The fight, the fall; the swim, the search? And dragging the other guy up, then out? Drained. Too drained and in too vulnerable a position to fight him properly this time. Feeling weighed down, not just by the metal on his left, or the water, or the man that _\--Steve, some faint part of his head reminded him--_ he couldn't let go of until he was ashore; there was the other part. Ringing in on the fact he'd failed. That failure came with punishment in one way or another, one form or another. And this was a big one. Maybe? Was saving this guy worth it? Either way.. maybe he'd be quick about it.

_If he doesn't.. Hydra probably will. How many times have **I** done that **for** them?_

Crazy quick and hard about it like he had been everywhere else he'd come across this one? All knives and silvery blue eyes flecked with green that stabbed that much harder. Fast, probably entirely bulletproof. Red and then black hair in that apartment and the bridge; tattoos in one flavor of knots and dark lines and then later another, more dangerous pattern of warning the next when he'd torn his sleeve and almost gotten a handful of his own knuckles thrown back at his brow. Like a snake changing the warning label for the levels of it's poison.

_Yeah. Makes sense. Get it over with.  
_

So, knowing that _\--or rather believing it--_ it was a little shocking that when he let Steve go to clear him at least; he found the other hand reaching to take him a little further with; pulling the Soldier's head up by the jaw to squint at his face along those few extra steps: free of blades or getting stuck in the eye or under the jaw. A lot more so with that increased frown and clear concern at the mess he was mixed in with default undertones of anger. What was the name he'd heard on the bridge? " ...Loki? " still didn't sound right for some reason that had nothing to do with how screwed up he was himself. Pierce had tried to wipe them both out, and maybe even succeeded: but one look, and it apparently hadn't kept. Because he heard himself say it then in his own head even as he said it now. " ...I know you. I know you _both..._ "

And, he was abandoned at that with a simple " Yes. " and " Catch your breath and keep an ear out, we _likely_ haven't much time. " that had Buchanan circling in a hazy daze through everything he _could_ remember over and again in his head and watching him in sharp glances from the bank while the other tall and dark checked Rogers over, and snagged something from his belt. The rest of his attention was on exactly what he'd suggested. Barnes was still expecting it, from whatever Hydra agents or handlers might think to recover him in the aftermath while the helicarriers were still sinking. Or burning.

Either way; they both perked when they heard the first trucks barrelling off the road and in as far as they could go. Barnes was pushing himself up as soon as he heard that, and Loki was helping him a moment later looking that way whether he wanted it or not. " ...right. Time to go. "

They were already moving, leaving Rogers behind on the bank when the first shouts started to sound off. " What about him..? " wasn't the first thing on his mind, but it was the first thing out of his mouth anyway.

" He's alive. And knowing the voice calling out just then? That particular lot will keep him that way. " Eased him up enough on that weird concern of his own to get moving at that hard limp; because neither part of him needed to have why he in particular needed to leave put into the air between them, what there was of it when Loki helped him along. The questions and rising distrust of how many times they had both been trying to kill each other since he'd literally been blocked from putting a bullet in Fury by this same man; bounced off the walls of an apartment and an alley, almost been skewered or gutted he didn't even know how many times between there and the bridge and the carriers had him slowing and feeling for his knife, or one of his sidearms.

The idea of a gun wouldn't do a lot, he knew. But it would serve as a decent distraction at least; if the powder wasn't wet. Those silvery eyes were right up in his face and agitated when he did pull it and managed the trigger, instantly reminded that.. the larger calibers were a distraction; but a simple 9 millimeter? Apparently didn't even make him blink before it was yank-thrown out of his hand and he was headbutted right in the nose on the same motion. Not hard, which was good if surprising. " ...well that was stupid of you. " filtered in just before the shouts, and identified why before he even said it.

He didn't let go though; and neither did Buck. His own grip and push was more focused on keeping him at least at elbow's distance but, the words that snapped out from the mouth belonging to those piercing blue eyes did mostly keep him from really pushing the fight further again. " Let me make this clear, Lieutenant. I like you still, having proven there is something of you left in there by pulling Steven out of the river; " which.. was mildly confusing but answered some of why he hadn't been stabbed to death already at least as Barnes got up attached to his pull, and shook off the rest of the daze.

Fighting this guy in close quarters was intense. Took everything, anyway. Everything he didn't have: after the correction from Pierce, the carrier and fall hitting the water, and hauling Rogers out of the river. " ...but, if you want to stay behind after giving away our position; and _insist_ on fighting me still, rather than coming with me and taking the free exit as well as chance for freedom and _survival?_ I won't hesitate to leave you here and to it. "

Stalled out at catching the other side of what he was saying with that. That's what Buck was. Still circling around too many things. A look back told him Steve was stirring on the bank further back where they'd left him. Maybe the shot had woken him up. " ...who are you two..? Why do you have to run at all, when he doesn't..? " were two of the many questions barrelling through his head that; apparently made Loki stare and sigh both.

" If you truly want those answers, the questions you should be asking first are: do you think you'll find them at all in a prison he might not be able to reach you in as option one? Or with me? " Brought his blue eyes hard and snapping eyes away even as Barnes' focused on him. " Because I assure you; that is among your most likely options if either one of us are caught. "

" ..you're his friend though.. his roommate.. why -- " was cut off by the inevitable interruption of that incoming squad hitting the bank and the pretty brunette among them shouting for them to " Stop where you are! "

" ...we don't have time for this. Choose. Me; or them, and potentially what is left of Hydra. " was almost hissed through the wide and suddenly charming smile that jumped up onto Loki's chiseled features and was immediately aimed across the distance at the woman and her bunch, empty hands coming up as he turned her way ... but stepped closer to Barnes. There wasn't a lot of time to think about it, but then he really didn't need much: and that first couple of shots being aimed at the man in green next to him rather than Barnes himself definitely helped.

The next shot spooked it out of him real fast though; or rather when he saw the motion and went to block it: the fact Loki was dropping a bullet a second later that would have landed in his own head made that decision for him instead. Was this guy safe, to be trusted? Hell no. But he was a far better bet than the agents that had just tried to put the bullet dropping to the grass in his brain. Loki was bulletproof; Barnes wasn't. At the very least he'd make a much more effective and mobile bullet shield than his arm. At least, with that many guns about to get a lot closer, he would.

" You! " was all it took for that hand to move to his shoulder, and the agents to get instantly confused. Bucky opened his mouth; only to have the darker man slip a finger over his own; and start moving aside further into the grass. It took a few more seconds for him to realize; none of the agents could see them. And to realize; this was probably part of how he had taken care of the carrier he had hopped aboard so swiftly too. They were on their way past them quietly in no time; and it didn't take Bucky long to realize what they were going for as they passed him at a larger distance too and Steve started to get up to their left through the trees: staring at the space along the river they had last been seen standing with a look that... kicked at some emotion Buck couldn't name in his own chest.

He knew loss and pain and confusion when he saw it; because he'd put all of those looks on a lot of people's faces.

Still, seeing it on Rogers' face stuck him in ways he couldn't explain never mind describe without a whole book to jot them down in; and seeing a small portion of it reflected in the pursed straight lines of Loki's face as they made for the trucks the squad had arrived in to take one only amplified it. Realizing as guarded as Steve was by the back line of that squad checking him over in his own daze making them unable to, and _still_ wanting to go back and take him with them? For some reason screaming so loud in the back of his mind it had gone silent and gagged by the Soldier in him that knew better? The best word he had was hurt, with a hard second of what he thought might be sad, and a quick third of disappointed longing.

None of which made any sense to him, except that; he knew him. Just like he knew the man bypassing the security on the S.U.V. and tossing it's GPS out the window while he leaned to look in the back seat for any weaponry they might have left behind just in case. " Get back there, actually. " surprised him a little, but the daze remained; maybe because there was that fact he did know him, too: past the apartment, somehow. He knew that face, and that voice: and what really stuck, was that he knew that sly and charming smile he had delivered at Hill, too.

Right, that was the brunette's name. He didn't remember where he'd picked that up. Maybe the files..? Either way, he did as he was told as usual if from a different source. Not a lot of great options all around, but this was the best and easiest one on hand. And he did seem to want him alive, at least. " It will be easier to simply mask myself, rather than the both of us. Time to put those tinted back windows to proper use..? " was his explanation, and said with an almost laugh at the end that was trying very hard he realized: to sink the fact they were leaving Steve behind faster than he had helped sink those carriers.

Right away, with the first three point out of the woods and direction: he knew they weren't headed out of town like they should have been though. " Where are we going..? "

" What has equated to home base, since you showed at and destroyed half of our apartment. There are things we need there; and at least one thing I am not comfortable leaving with anyone left in SHIELD before it's confirmed clean, as well. "

  * \------KNOWN DOMESTIC TIME VARIANCE : 2:23 PM US EST : 2014



" ..are you serious? If what you've been saying is true: why would they let me keep it? " Was probably the most words he'd had to say in one go through it all. But of all the thoughts trying not to run through his head as they stacked and bound up the room's contents around the big black metal box Loki had pulled off the table in the middle of the room; what the apparently former Asgardian prince and one time king had let drop just then was maybe the most surprising for that fact alone.

" Who knows.. may be, it was one of the visual or tactile links used to shut the Soldier they have made you into down, when necessary; before your conditioning was complete? It could be anything. " didn't help, even if it did make some sense to Barnes. The lines between his two halves were blurry at times, but becoming clearer as he was allowed to think about it, and allowed to ask questions: something the Soldier hadn't been allowed unless either ordered to, or when pertaining to information vital to a mission. The awed comment when he'd taken out the last knife he had on him to cut the rope they were using, had surprised him even more the first time around: but it was still a surprise. " I assure you however, I _was_ the one to give you that blade. Or rather leave it with you, years ago. Hydra stamping it's ugly squid on it since, won't change the fact it used to be mine. "

Which had Buck looking at it again before he was back to slicing the extra length of nylon from the current knot, and pursing his lips at it: growing annoyed with how little he knew about himself. And how little Loki knew, before they had apparently first met in Belgium. Years, as he termed it; didn't quite cover the distance of time accurately; to say the least. Decades would have; and from the way Loki had given him the rundown; a century was only very slightly an over-estimation.

Quiet followed while he let the new information settle in with the rest. As far as he knew, there was no reason or purpose to him taking Buck with him. None that made any sense, anyway. That was one of the few reasons why he trusted him as far as he had and did so far, and why he believed him. They talked in spurts like this since hopping into and stealing that car right from behind SHIELD's operatives for those reasons while the box charged off it's cord.

Necessity combined with the need to process, work on trying to really drive the image he'd asked for in after pulling it out and letting the morning's events sink in while they got at getting everything together in the middle of the room, which was still bothering him, because " ....I still don't understand how we're going to get this whole mess down that hallway, never mind into the back of the truck. " had Loki smirking again, if distractedly himself. Which didn't help. " The box alone took both of us to lift off the table. Tying all this stuff to it is not gonna make it any lighter, never mind make it down that narrow corridor in. "

" We're not using the truck. " made him look up again with the slight grind and scratch, something he'd only been at the last few minutes while Barnes took over moving the remaining things he'd wanted --pretty much everything except some of the furniture and the lighting fixtures-- and secured them all together in the pile. " How is that memory coming, by the way? The one I helped you pull out in Illinois. "

" ...and that. I really don't get how landing outside of Chicago a few years ago is a helpful memory. Least of all in a backwoods hangar like that one. " only seemed to make him smile a little more, if briefly.

" You'll see. Now. About that knife. " had him glancing back up at Loki's face " I want to leave it for Rogers. " and surprising even himself with the sudden warning glare through his own eyebrows.

His confusion must have shown on his face though, because Loki immediately asked in a much more agreeable tone after the two-beat of observation: " That is a look and a half, as Steve would say. ..Did you remember something about it? "

Which.. " ..no. " was true enough, but there was also " I just.. don't want to give it up. To anyone. " and before Loki could argue yet, he admitted one part of it even as he identified the obvious. " Assuming what you say is true; it's the only thing I have left from my past. " Which, glancing up at him again and seeing him tip his hips against the table the shield they'd found on their way was already on and in the midst of having new words scratched into it's padded grip bars along with something else currently hiding on it beside that and behind him only made Barnes slow down his work for a few seconds.

More so for the fact that " You have the man who gave it to you, too. " was pretty likely to be the truth, from where he was sitting.

" For now, yeah. " also seemed to pull Loki's mood aside and into something more somber, which; was only slightly unexpected. It didn't hit his voice when he shot back. " For as long as you intend to stay together, yes. " Which just made every needled bit of distrust in his head and elsewhere feel stupid where the Soldier told him it definitely should not be.

It was " I have no intention of abandoning you, until you want me to. " that had Buck practically throwing the rope down to yank the old blade up between them with the word that was etched into it alongside the squid he'd mentioned right to eye level. " Because of this? Honor? You think either of us really have any of that left in their eyes? Or for that matter mine, to work that angle? " yes, he was a little mad. In part because " You admit you're a criminal, as bad if not worse than me; that you manipulated your freedom to date out of the situation at hand for your own reasons -- and the only reason, why you were able to have the leeway to not get thrown into prison at best yourself was because you kept that up right through this whole mess to oppose Hydra and me, and I'm supposed to trust you? Even if it is true, with the one thing I have period that isn't you or him: that _might_ be able to jog my memory? "

" ...actually, because of what's on the other blade. And.. because it's an answer; a set of them together: that will keep Steve from looking too hard for us. And.. let him know something I have been debating on telling him for almost two years as is. " was evenly said enough that he thought he might trust it. " I can help with those memories, either way. In a lot of ways, hopefully and as you've noticed...? But Steven.. this is all I can do for him at this particular moment. Give him these messages, I mean. "

" If, I let you have it. "

" You know I could take it forcibly if I wanted, _but yes. **That.**_ " came before the sigh; before he crossed his arms and nodded at the blade again. " If it's that important to you, I'll swear not to leave or allow you to until you've recovered what memories I can offer about it in full. " Was not something he expected, in part because a promise spoken out loud wasn't something that had been offered til then. And, because he could tell, somehow; he meant it.

It made him consider, which he admitted looking from what was left to bind up: was a waste of precious time. Not, that he was clear yet on how they were even going to get out of the cement and steel room; through the exits he had seen. All three of them were too small for the huge bundle forming next to the table. " Well..? Shall we trade? " did help put the stamp on that self-reminder, too: as he was offered a different knife out of nowhere, which was where he seemed to keep them in general otherwise. Maybe that was how they were going to get it all out? " You can keep this one til then, at the least. It's the only other blade I have that's anywhere near it's equal. "

" Is it made out of the same stuff? " didn't even get a shake of his head as Buck looked at it. It was a lot simpler. Just silvery polished metal in a single piece, with a wooden handle that had a couple snakes at either end of the hilt and cross-hatching carved into it's grip. The answer was what made him do the double-take, because " No, not _that kind_ of worth Buchanan. It's the first blade the woman I called my mother gave me. The first true gift among the few she gave me at all. She'd dead, now. So there won't be another, ever. "

Having lost so many of his own? The worth of the memory was a glaring thing to him. He couldn't help but look at the blade still in his own hand and compare them like that, for a few hard seconds: and swallow. " ...I. " because what should he say to that offer, other than the knocked reverent and low " _...okay._ " and the question that was instantly boiling up behind " Loki? " before he even put it into words, for how still just touching something like that made him as he settled the grip in is palm. It felt.. so wrong there: traded out with a blade that he was pretty sure, even remembered: could not hold a candle to what he had been handed, and couldn't deny for the breath in his own lungs just then. It was too much to say no to.

Too indefinitely more precious a promise represented. Maybe he saw that, when he turned back from putting the knife on the table with what he saw was it's shinier match on the other side of the shield; and ended up stopping again when he did catch Buck's eyes with his silvery shade of blue. " ...will you tell me what the messages are; at least? It'll keep me from trying to nick it back off the table.. "

That got a small smirk, before he was back at carving those two words carefully into the grip bars again. " Mm. " Barnes couldn't watch him with the play of what to others would have been subtle emotion on his face as he thought it out ahead of telling him about it. And that was fine; they needed to get done, and get out of there: no matter how they were managing it. It wouldn't take SHIELD much longer to get there. The sound of cars and a lot of people getting out of them in fact; told him they already were. Time was running short. So he listened as he focused on the work. " I need him to know I'm coming back; and that if you remember: you probably will too. And I need him to know why, beyond... "

The breath wasn't something he could look at him for either; the tone of it. Like whatever he left out there was heavy in his chest. Like the feeling he himself had, before he'd gone into the river after Rogers; Steve: was given form in a single breathing note right then and there that " ..beyond what I already showed him, whether that part was wanted or not. " only added onto. The breath in pulled his attention though; and he saw the regrouping in his posture and eyes as he worked that second word into the other grip; and Buck himself started re-affirming the firm tie he'd given the cots on the outside meant to hold all the crazy shit together.

" A reminder that I'm aware we haven't finished what we started; and that the distance between us, in decades or otherwise since he first saw the knife I gave you: hasn't changed my need to. And won't. I need him not to doubt any of it. " was almost stiff with the absolution behind those last words especially. It pulled him to a slowing stop. Not just because of how firmly Loki looked like he meant that, or the determination; but because it was _that important to him,_ that he'd made the trade he had for what equated to Bucky's comfort alone, and: " I owe him more than that. A .. great deal, more than that; after the last two years alone. I need him to know, I won't be leaving him alone: even if I am not there next to him any longer to say as much. " finally registered.

What word he was using, while the cutters started up around the corner and on the other side of that door. How firmly set his shoulders were while he worked. How much sharper the lines in his jaw; like he was fighting clamping them shut and saying things that he didn't think he should or really wanted to. And was only saying them out loud because Barnes had asked, to keep him from taking what he needed to convey that, back.

_Not want to._

_Need._

_He needed, to do these things..?_

And that? _That_ finally hit home. Finally put a very small portion of a label onto why he'd jumped out of the carrier after Rogers, and why he hadn't fought too hard if at all when Loki had helped and even dragged him up the rest of the way onto the bank when he'd been about to falter: even if it might have only been for a little while. He'd needed to do it. He didn't entirely understand why or who the three of them were to each other? But hat clamping word absolutely made it easier. " ..so Honor is one. " came out not quieter, but gentler somehow as a result. He didn't understand, but Loki did. And that bond whatever it was; if nothing else, had answers he thought he could trust. " What are the other words..? "

" You knew them back then. I'll teach them to you again as we keep moving forward. " was only left on it's own for the time it took that first huge bar of safe-grade steel to clatter and with a bang to the floor of the corridor on the other side of the wall. There was no urgency to him yet, and that barely kept Bucky's own in check. " Things we carried apart an age ago, and he reminded me of every day since New York. " had the tip of annoyance that wasn't quite complete, or truly honest to it. A lift of humor that sat underneath, as if making fun of the fact he was very much aware of that fact and some darker piece of him wished he wasn't. Bucky had forgotten a voice could carry that much inflection, until he heard it.

" You're assuming I'll stay with you. "

" Yes well. I'm very persuasive. " had Buck giving him a look that matched his uncertainty and suspicion all rolled into one. " And for myself if not for him, and you: I have plans to do exactly that and convince you to stay with me if we can manage, until we are able to rejoin with Steven properly. "

" He's that important to you..? "

" You both are. " was surprising and humbling enough whether it was true or not. But it was " You are the only people left alive who have a piece and memory of who and what I was before; who might still give a damn, after all. Even if what is pointless and a lie? " made everything in him stop, registering the implications there. " Who, is something I should not allow to become one through it any farther than I already have. I refuse to give them that much, or any more of me than what comes to the rest second hand. "

Done, and Loki heard the second bar drop at the same time he did. " This will be odd. " said as he wrapped one handful of fingers around his forehead from temple to temple " I need you to focus on that memory again. Illinois.. the hangar on that private airfield. The open drive space in particular. Empty. Reserved for getting the planes out. A lot of space there.. don't look at the people any more than you did in that one moment you were looking for extra eyes as you came out. Nothing else is there. Just you, the empty space between the stair and the hangar doors. "

That was weird enough; except as he reached, twisted and then pulled the middle plug to what he'd said was a charger on the huge box tied into the middle that Loki had warned him not to touch or tie in any way? And that smaller blue glowing cube snapped with a hum up into view? He couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was about to pull. His look definitely, reflected that. " ..see, these things are easier to control; when you _share_ that control. That was proven elsewhere, with another like it. It was brief; but Power was once used and shared by a half dozen or so mages once. I'm basically.. going to share a little of the control with you. To simplify: I'll be the Tesseract's pilot: while you provide navigation. "

Which, definitely sounded insane? But that was pretty much Barnes' life in a nutshell anyway. And, what did he have to lose that wasn't already on the table? " We're aiming for that hangar... keep on the memory of that space; and I'll view and use it to get us there. "

  * \------KNOWN DOMESTIC TIME VARIANCE : 8:49 PM US CST : 2014



Getting late at night in the middle of the park they'd moved to after the hangar.. and finally, able to sit down in something that wasn't moving. Or not move while standing still hoping they didn't end up in the middle of a parked airplane. Which; apparently was a thing they had to worry about before Loki had taken him with on the Tesseract's first test drive. Apparently, he had kept that part of the huge and clunky apparatus sealing the thing in from detection a secret even from Steve. Or, so he'd said, while Buck had been bent retching what little food he'd had onto the floor between his knees when the universe had stopped spinning.

And apparently yay, for really good recall too; because the way Loki read memories and how much Buck had been able to remember about the place after a half a year had apparently been how they were able to pull it off and pretty much teleport half way across the country with it, and all that shit they had attached to it's box. As it turned out, and the same? Half the bunks they'd strapped it all between had broken on landing on the hard floor under the weight. Which.. was why Loki had him help arrange it that way: but it had saved all the gear, weapons, and tech he had collected in the former safe space back in D.C.

Thinking about it; he still thought Loki was a little crazy at the least; but he had gotten them across state lines and half the country in less than ten seconds: without the need for airports, or stealing a plane or chopper or anything else. Experimental and dangerous? Yes. But so was Bucky Barnes; even if the experimental part had probably ended decades ago whether he remembered it or not. They had headed south from there; into some southern Illinois park that apparently had something Loki called a doorway leading to more crazy; but also completely off the radar and the possibility of being picked up by it too. Which wasn't something the Soldier portion of his brain could even entirely promise; if SHIELD's remnants or anyone else made a big enough stink about finding him in particular.

The idea of just.. mostly walking off world, was a scary one when he realized Lo was serious; but he agreed that it wasn't nearly as scary as the idea of trying to use the Tesseract like that again. Loki had seemed to enjoy that whole chunk of crazy way too much as it was; enough to offer an attempt twice before he finally took Buck's " _Fuck, no. "_ and " _..never again please and fucking thank you._ " at face value for the honest answer it was.

Though he was pretty sure the only reason he asked him that second time was just to see and laugh at Buck with the automatic squirm the suggestion put into his gut after the first trip. With what little he'd seen and heard of it over the last nine hours; the guy did have a pretty twisted sense of humor sometimes. He was a good guy though. Maybe not that kind of perfectly good, kind of good guy that some --himself maybe included-- might have tacked onto someone with the thought: but here he was settling into the idea of finally sleeping, after being wrapped in One of the hoodies to cover his 'Captain Obvious' arm, washed up and well fed to replace what he'd emptied when they'd arrived to tell Buck that he was at least just good enough to trust.

Even before he ended up looking at that knife he'd traded again in the process of shedding said hoodie, with the intent of going to sleep in the big, issue tent they were prepping to leave in tomorrow if not the day after, or later. He didn't ask for timelines. He was more than happy to slip into the habits of taking direction from him after that. Because it was comfortable, and because that lackluster trust was indeed pulling up to some shine he hadn't expected, after all.

Nothing to do with him otherwise, and that was why it was that much more surprising to him that he got a few flashes from it sitting there in the tent with his back to an already snoozing dark prince in the newly quilted canvas they'd strung and reinforced out to a double they'd be sharing in the cold of his birth planet while heading across it's surface. Variations of the same smile he'd seen on the bank, softened over time with every iteration. A dozen or more. A laugh, something about salt; and a canteen passed his way in the dappling of an entirely different wood, by the same hands that had dragged him out and Steve the rest of the way out of the water.

The same callouses, the same enlarged knuckle on that right side from some past injury, the same care he hadn't noticed was there when Loki had grabbed him. The uniform, his insignia. The soldier recognized it. British armed forces. Infantry. An officer. He saw the blades, too, one freshly cleaned and being slipped back into where they had been kept in the open then: the outside of his boots along his calves. Honor, and Loyalty.

His silhouette in a forest so thickly woven at the branches, so high in pine that he was nothing but an elegant black outline that belonged there where Bucky had just been an unfamiliar guest by comparison; stumbling across the shadow darkened carpet of reddened needles blanketing the ground between them at catching that view. The smile again. Conversations he couldn't quite catch the words to in the whirl and blur; but felt he had been chasing. One part of his name peeking out from under the strap to his rifle where he had it hung over his shoulder, and the lapel to his issued fall coat slowed him to a still as he settled under the thin blankets and tried to catch better hold of it all? Nearly spooked him into some sort of excited anxiousness.

Wrath.

That was all he got, and was able to replay, with the exception of calling that part of his name as he'd known it. It was like his head was under it's own special sort of tree, peeking memories out at him from a dappling so deep in contrast he couldn't catch them all: but that piece, that name especially stuck along with the joy that grew with every rendition of that slowly warming smile he'd seen in the fast flashes. Buck couldn't help but fidget and roll trying to keep hold of every sliver that was illuminated. And repeat the name again and again in his head and under his breath as he tried to settle.

Wrath.

Who, as it turned out; he turned over right into a grab from. In his sleep. He saw Loki's face briefly enough to know that with certainty. And heard it in the near breath as he tugged him in, wrapped him up against his chest, pulled Buck's leg over his hip and whispered " ..lay still 'n' sleep, " in sleep-drawled tones that absolutely had Barnes turning bright red between the nearness, the intimacy in the hold --not to mention the fact his right hand went straight down his spine and **into** the back of his cargos for a grip on his ass to hold him better there-- and the simple truth that it was quickly followed up with " Gildylocks. " to let him know exactly who he thought he was caging between his arms.

Which, was the Soldier's fault; putting together the fact that he had come into the apartment after Fury like he had lived there, and that.. Rogers' floor plan as he'd seen it while he'd been setting up the thermals didn't have a second bedroom, or evidence of a hide-a-bed big or secure enough in the crashing memory of _literally_ dropping in from the floor above. Which meant.. he and Steve had been probably sleeping in the same bed. Maybe, for whole two solid years that Loki himself had mentioned he had been there. Probably, just like this. It felt like that was it anyway.

Part of him wanted to push him away instantly. That was the soldier again, mostly. But..

It was the rest of him, and even a lot of the Soldier that gave in when Loki squeezed him in his sleep like he was something cherished.

It was that weak and needy part of him needing nourishment that lifted his chin and had him breathing in the smell of salted caramel and a brand of copper he knew went with blood spilt earlier in the day, and WD-40 still clinging to him after oiling the hinge on the hood to the shitty Chevy they'd bought with cash from the small town mechanic across the street from the private air strip they'd landed next to in that hangar when that first brushing kiss raised newly trimmed down whiskers along Buck's own neck.

It wasn't that he couldn't help himself, from curling into him and letting Loki press and breathe affections meant for Steve in against his skin. Or that he didn't know better when his chin and then cheek rubbed his mouth dangerously close, either. Not tugging or stirring or wanting to wake him up from it came from more than that. Remembering that word again, the one he had used instead of the want that was pushing Barnes to stay mostly still and just _let him_.

Because he didn't want to do anything else.

Because, he wasn't the good guy either, and it felt good to be loved; just for those moments, even if they weren't his other than for his being there in Roger's place.

Because when his mouth skipped lazily across Bucky's, he did find something else after that he hadn't caught in those dappled memories. Something Hydra definitely would have wanted to melt the knife he'd been allowed to keep down for if they'd known the secret he'd had to keep about it back in the forties. They'd assumed. They'd been wrong, and sinking into the feel of that kiss, stealing it away from someone who probably meant more to even him than Bucky could remember? There was the need to keep the tears back seeing what he'd felt and the fact that otherwise.. Steve got today what Bucky had wanted back then.

Buried his face in his chest when he settled again. Caught the slack of his shirt at Loki's back and gripped to it and the affection there for dear life, wanting to run and not finding enough of that want to actually do it by comparison to staying right there where he was as long as he could and stealing more of it.

Because he was about as far from the good guy as it got, and he needed to be while he was safe between those familiar, forgotten arms.

So he didn't sleep.

Riding on that high anxiety and those immense facts through til just past dawn, the need to snatch up every caress and rub and piece of sanity he caught cradled under his chin and small but sticking sleepy kisses whenever Barnes stirred; he couldn't. Not yet. And by the time Loki woke up, he had decided; he was going to try and steal away as many as he could, because he needed that, not just in general: but from Loki in particular.

From Wrath. And had been for almost a century.

Something Hydra couldn't touch, because they hadn't known it was there. Hidden in ways, way before he'd ever met the man; for reasons obvious to anyone who cared about someone during that era who wanted to be or keep their partner remotely safe in societies that back then, still hung people like them form lamp posts if they were lucky when found out by the kind that didn't approve and didn't think twice about it.

Breakfast sped by. Quiet but Lo was easily over the brief awkward of waking up with Buck tucked in against him with his mouth whispering warming breaths against his ear.

Jealous a little.

That thought slipped in too often. The Soldier grumbled he shouldn't be. That Rogers wasn't here. That he was obviously used to sleeping like that and there was no use in letting the opportunity slip away when he wanted and needed it. He knew it was wrong on some level, but still couldn't argue with it. That part wasn't wrong. And.. there was that one phrase, hanging out too close and too hopeful in his memory. The thing that Lo hadn't named, that Rogers hadn't accepted about him. So when Loki started in on the plan ahead he listened closely, hearing the length it might take to get from the place on the other side of that nearby doorway hanging over the water in a crack of the tree-captured cliff-sides that surrounded it.

From Jotunheim, to Vanaheinm, to Asgard. From Asgard, to Muspelheim, to Jotunheim again through another door in one of his own birds, back to Earth: a month and a half maybe two entirely on foot: three weeks at most, maybe two and a half with a horse or better. At most; he would.. _might:_ have sixty some nights like that. Not counting whatever time they spent here in Illinois gathering what supplies they didn't have and would need. Sixty opportunities he didn't think he'd resist to steal another kiss and snuggling hold where he needed it; and find out.

So, and as soon as he finished and things were half loaded into the boat as prep before the idea of running to the store? The first words out of his mouth when he realized he didn't say when he wanted to leave otherwise probably, finally surprised Loki well enough to stop him again.

" Okay, I'm still in. When do we start? "

If not for how safe he'd felt the night prior.. how warm and cared for? Even if it wasn't his? _Yet?_ Bucky might have been surprised by that too...

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!--As a note for first time Lokiverse (Mixology) readers:--!!!! Lokiverse (Mixology) is a long time project exploring the idea of multiverses where Loki not only survives but usually thrives, often through the concept of the old 'what if' comics I used to read when much younger, and the differences the millions of possible choices and twists of fate unexplored in canon MCU can make. There are a lot of different reasons I chose to do this series, and I'll probably be working on it for years, but yeah.
> 
> Think of Lokiverse as (for a start) my all in one answer to 'what if' and the many 'HISHE' (how it should have ended) options not given to us in canon story rolled into a multiverse connected by one of my favorite characters. As a result? You're not always going to see the same pairing from book to book, or even see them form in exactly the same way either. And that -especially- applies to Universes like Door 6.
> 
> Each universe has it's own unique theme, focus, and development in relationships and more as a result. Each Universe has their own planned if not posted/published books here too, running their own story as main focus; while also adding to and continuing the overlapping story of their interaction with themselves through the point where they are connected (the Vestibule, in the Mare) and how that and the versions of themselves they meet there, affects their Universes and stories as well: and vice versa. You'll find if you read, that while they all do connect.. some are much more involved at the table than others: while on the other side of that, some choose as little involvement as possible..


End file.
